Heero's worst mission
by d-d-duley
Summary: When Duo Maxwell takes the wrong headache pill, it reverts him back to childhood, the other pilots clear off, leaving Heero with the consequences. For anyone who just wants a laugh.
1. The headache.

Authors note: Ok apologies, weird story line etc, um, not quite sure how I came up with this one……

Authors note: Ok apologies, weird story line etc, um, not _quite_ sure how I came up with this one……

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters, although, if anyone is willing to give me them I'd like Heero, Duo and Quatre please. 

Warnings: Hmmm, warnings, oh yeah. A bit of Duo punching Wufei and being bad tempered.

"Ow my heeeeead!" Moaned Duo Maxwell.

The pilot of Gundam Deathscythe hell had just come back from a mission and, to say the least, was not in a good mood.

"Duo, what's wrong?" asked Quatre, the blond haired pilot immediately concerned.

"My head you idiot! It hurts, why do you think I've been clutching it?"

"Um, stress?"

"Aaaargh!" with a loud curse Duo stomped off towards his room, banging into Heero in the process. "Hey watch where you're going!"

"Duo, what's wrong?"

Duo snarled angrily, "WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING THAT?!!" He yelled, before storming off down the corridor.

Heero glanced enquiringly at Trowa, who had been standing behind Quatre during the entire episode. Trowa merely shrugged and turned back to his book, which had been interrupted by Duo's ranting.

Meanwhile Duo, storming down the corridor, encountered Wufei.

"Maxwell, did you put blue dye in my toothpaste?"

"NO!!! NOW GO AWAY OR I'LL PAINT NATAKU PINK!!!!"

"Eeesh, I was only asking, I mean, it's the sort of thing you'd do and…" but Wufei never finished his sentence as he was hit by a flying object, namely Duo's fist. 

Duo never stopped after punching Wufei, he just stormed on down the corridor, knocking things over. Until he was in his room, lying down with an ice pack on his head, no one even dared to breathe.

"What's wrong with him?" Grumbled Wufei to the other pilots, clutching his bloody nose.

They were all assembled in the drawing room of the large house they were staying in, trying to keep Duo asleep for as long as possible by being quiet.

"I don't know." Rejoined Quatre, "He was fine before he went on this mission, just seemed…tetchy afterwards."

"Well you'd think he would be more friendly, given it's nearly Christmas. Do you know he threatened to paint Nataku pink? _Pink_ I ask you, it's such an injustice…"

"Shut up!" chorused Heero and Trowa at the same time.

Quatre slapped himself on the forehead, "Christmas, that's it!"

Heero looked confused, "Huh?"

"Duo's an orphan Heero, he probably feels lonely at Christmas"

"Poor Duo!" Trowa cut in, "At least the rest of us can remember people we knew, and at least we didn't see our homes destroyed in front of us."(A/N: Just for the record, something bad happened to nearly all of them, you'll just have to use your imagination a bit people.)

The others nodded sadly, and sat around in gloomy contemplation for a while. "Well we could try being a bit nicer to him!" Said Quatre, always one for bright ideas; "I mean after all, he's the one who makes jokes to keep us happy every day, where would we be without him?"

"I agree," Cut in Heero, "and the first thing we could do, is find him an aspirin or something to stop that headache, why don't we ask Howard if he has anything?"

"Good idea," chimed in Trowa, "let's go."

Wufei started up, "but what about Nataku? With the evil mood Duo's in, he could creep up in the middle of the night and….WHAM! I'd be the laughing stock of the colonies…" but Wufei was talking to himself, the other pilots had long gone.

**********

"Howard?"

"Hmmm? Whaaaaat." There was an audible thump from the other side of the door and then silence. Quatre tried again.

"Howard?" the door was opened and the three boys found themselves face to face with the errant mechanic/scientist. (A/N: Ok he probably isn't a scientist.) 

"Oh hello boy's" He said, looking slightly surprised, "What do you want eh?"

"We came to ask you if you had any aspirin to stop Duo's headache, it's really bad…" Said Quatre, the undisputed spokesperson of the group.

"A headache pill you say, one moment…" Howard's head disappeared behind the door. There was another series of loud thumps and his head poked back round again, "here you are, only give him ONE mind, these are very powerful."

"Thanks!" Quatre took the small brown bottle and stuck it in his pocket.

Howard smiled, "See you boy's later then!" And with that the door slammed in the pilot's faces.

**********

"Sssh, be very quiet!" Wufei whispered as he and Quatre tiptoed across Duo's bedroom floor towards the bed.

"You're the one making the noise!" Quatre pointed out in a hushed voice as he skirted a pile of junk that lay on the floor like a human trap.

"Be quiet both of you!" Came Heero's voice from behind them as he watched anxiously from the door.

"Alright, alright, alright!" Grumbled Quatre, side stepping a mound of clothes.

As Quatre reached the bed, with Wufei right behind him, sword out and ready just in case, he dropped the soluble pill into Duo's sleeping water. "There, that should do it!" He breathed, "When he wakes up, he can drink that, and his headache will be gone."

*********

As the pilots assembled in the kitchen to wait for Duo to wake up, Heero said worriedly, "This is going to work right? I mean, he's not going to wake up, find something wrong with his drink, and kill us all?" 

No one said a word.

Seeing even _Heero_ this worried about the foul mood Duo was in was, to say the least, unnerving.

Suddenly a yell from the other end of the hall indicated that Howard was rapidly approaching. Quickly Quatre opened the door and let him in before he could tear it down. 

"You've got…" Howard gasped, cheeks red from running the length of the house in under three seconds flat, "You've got, to stop Duo from…drinking the soluble headache pill!"

"Why?" Wufei asked puzzled, "After all, it's just a headache tablet…isn't it?"

Howard turned to look at the black-haired boy, "NO!!! It's my project that I was working on! The bottles became mixed up when I tidied the room!!"

Trowa spoke for the first time that day. "What will happen if he takes it then?"

"Who knows!" Moaned Howard, "I was originally looking for an anti-sleeping tablet for you boy's to take on your missions in case you got drugged by Oz, however, when I tested it, nothing happened!"

"Then why on earth are you so worried?" 

"Because I tested it on a _hamster_!"

"OH!" There was the sound of four pairs of feet running for the door at exactly the same time and four voices crying out…

"Get off of me! We have to stop Duo drinking the water!"

"Well, you're the one that's keeping us stuck in the door!"  
  


"Shut up both of you or we'll never get out of this mess!"

"Oh the injustice, trapped in a doorway…I'll never be able to look at you all the same way again!"

Suddenly four boy's fell forward onto the floor, Heero was the first one up, running down the corridor before anyone else was even standing.

Bursting into the bedroom he shared with Duo, he stopped short, blinking.

When the other three made it down the corridor they were stopped by Heero, standing in the doorway, rubbing his eyes extremely hard.

"What is it?" Quatre asked anxiously, has he become unconscious?"

Wufei risked peering out from behind Trowa's back now that he knew Duo was still asleep, or better still, unconscious. "I bet it's worse than that. Is he dead?" He asked hopefully.

"N…no, not exactly."

"What do you mean 'not exactly?'" Trowa asked suspiciously.

"Well, he's not exactly _Duo_ any more…"

"WHAT!!!"

Anxiously Quatre entered the room, and encountered…

Backing out he looked at the other three solemnly, "It's rather strange…"

In the end Wufei got impatient, storming in front of everyone he stalked into Duo's room and stopped short. "But he's…he's…"

"A child again." Heero finished grimly for him.

"How…?" 

"Howard's pill must have had an extremely bad side affect to it…" Groaned Trowa.

Suddenly, the small infant in the bed sat up, dwarfed by Duo's pyjama's, and looking extremely angry. "How old do you think he is?" Whispered Wufei. With any luck, by the time Duo was a teenager again, he'd be old enough to cope with him.

"I'd say about five." Whispered back Quatre.

The child that, even though it was about ten years younger, looked astoundingly like Duo, began to look around with a kind of ominous interest.

"Well," said Wufei, backing towards the door, one of us need's to look after him, while the other's help Howard find an antidote."

"Oh yeah, good idea!!" Said Trowa enthusiastically, also backing towards the door.

Heero suddenly began to get a horrible feeling he knew what was coming…

"You don't mind, do you Heero?" Quatre asked, before Heero could reply however, he had followed the other two pilots out of the door, slamming it behind him.

Running footsteps receded down the corridor.

The small Duo and Heero eyed one another.

_Somehow_, Heero thought, _I get the feeling I am NOT going to survive this mission…_

_ _

To Be Continued.

A/N: Well, let me know what you think then.


	2. The god of death.

Authors note: OH MY GOD

Authors note: OH MY GOD!!! 13 reviews in the first night!!! *Spins around happily* Wheeeee!! Thanks everyone. Ok, I know all of them are acting out of character but hey, that's what makes it interesting right?

Duo: I don't think anyone is going to answer that one.

D.D.: You be quiet.

Duo: :[ Say that again.

D.D.: YOU. BE. QUIET.

Duo: Heeeeero!! *shudders* god I sound like Relena.

Heero: What?

Duo: she was mean to me.

D.D.: M…me?

Heero: *pulls out gun* Omae o korusu!

D.D.: Gulp. ^_^;

Duo: **J**

Heero was considering his options. Number one. Shoot Duo, _hmm that might work_, number two. Shoot himself; _well no one will be able to blame me for committing suicide this time_, number three. Look after the little monster. _Of all the options I like this one the least._

_ _

The little Duo in the bed started to climb out, "No Duo, I don't think that's a good idea!" Yelled Heero, diving forward and catching the violet-eyed chibi as it tried to head for the door. Duo glared at the dark-haired boy in front of him. "I want to watch TV."

Heero blinked, "TV?"

"Yes, cartoons."

"Cartoons?" Heero was beginning to sound like a parrot, but he didn't care, obviously this small version of Duo couldn't remember being a teenager at all. As if reading Heero's thoughts the much smaller boy asked, "Who are you?"

"You don't remember me?"

The small boy frowned, "I remember, something, but…"

"I'm Heero Yuy."

"Oh." Duo nodded politely. "Nice to meet you Heero Yuy."

*********

Heero was exhausted, he had only been looking after Duo for three hours, and already the braided baka had worn him out, the perfect soldier was not meant to be worn out. 

(A/N Personally Duo is my fav character, so I don't think of him as a baka.)

First of all there had been the problem of clothing.

When Heero had taken Duo to the clothes store at the mall, he hadn't had a clue what to buy.At the time Duo had only been wearing a large old shirt and a pair of Quatre's smallest trainers, they were still miles to big.

So he had asked the shop assistant for help, she had glared at him for a minute before asking abruptly, "What was he? A mistake? You seem a bit young for that sort of thing."

Heero, not knowing what she had meant had simply replied saying, "Yes it was a mistake. Meaning the tablet, but for some reason, the assistant had glared at him even harder.

So now Duo was wearing black dungarees with a violet top underneath. He was sitting there watching cartoons on TV and drinking a glass of milk.

With a silent sigh he returned to the kitchen, where he had left a pile of dirty dishes from Duo's dinner. As he began washing them a light pattering of feet indicated that the insatiable hunger monster was back and looking for more food. Turning back around again Heero saw the last wisp of a braid disappearing out of the door.

With a mental groan, he went to see what the braided child was up to.

Duo called himself the god of death, he was going to be the death of Heero soon.

Authors note: Since the writing of the last chapter, some things have come to my attention. First and foremost, that concerning a story called Don't drink the water by Sailor Janus. Now, the stories sound extremely similar, as a couple of you have already pointed out, HOWEVER I have never read don't drink the water, and did not mean to offend anyone. I got this idea from a book I once read. I have obviously unintentionally infringed on this particular story (by accident) and I apologise, first to Sailor Janus and secondly to any of you that read her story. Thankyou.

P.S. Sorry this chapter was so short. 


	3. The infamous pirate blackbeard....

D

D.D.: *In stage whisper* It appears that I have escaped spandex boy and his enraged friend for the moment, but I'm going to have to be very quiet while I type this.

Wufei: Aha! I have caught up with you, weak woman! Making me appear afraid of Maxwell is an injustice of the highest degree!

D.D. Sssh! Not so loud, or you're going to have Heero coming down on me like a ton of bricks, shooting the hell out of me!

Wufei: Good! Then justice will have been done.

D.D. Shut up justice boy!

Wufei: DUO!! HEERO!! I'VE FOUND HER!!!

D.D.: Damn you Wufei!

Duo: Aha! Cornered, now I can get Heero to shoot you, right Heero?

Heero: Hn.

D.D.: But…if you shoot me, you won't find out what happens, and you'll remain in child form forever.

Duo: *Considers this* Ok, but once the fic is ended, you die.

D.D. Once the fic has ended, I'll be out of here.

Four pairs of eyes watched as a fifth pair narrowed in concentration. Four pairs of lungs held their breath as Howard dropped a tiny amount of a chemical into a tube. The result was highly dramatic. 

Nothing happened.

Wufei sighed and rolled his eyes. "Howard, can't you just find the notes you wrote while making the potion and reverse them? We've been waiting for over three and a half hours, and each time, nothing happens."

The sunglasses-clad scientist shook his head, "I keep telling you, I never made any notes, I forgot."

Even good-natured Quatre rolled his eyes at this.

Howard was just lighting a Bunsen burner when a loud yell echoed throughout the house, bouncing off walls and zipping down corridors. He jumped so much that his sleeve caught fire in the burner. 

"That sounded like Yuy," Said Wufei worriedly, "I hope Maxwell hasn't done anything too terrible."

In the background Howard began to run around, waving his arm and looking for a fire extinguisher.

"Maybe we should go check?" Suggested Trowa anxiously.

"Yeah, but first…" Quatre paused, "I think we should help Howard put his arm out."

*********

Heero stared in disbelief at the braided child in front of him, not only had the braided baka stolen the cookie jar while his back was turned, but he had taken Heero's gun as well.

Narrowing his eyes he favoured the small American with a Heero Yuy death glare special, it had no affect whatsoever. The child merely carried on trying to get the jar open, and keep an eye on the gun at the same time.

"Give me the gun." Heero growled; eyes still narrowed. Duo looked up briefly before returning to the task at hand. "No."

"Give. Me. The. Gun." Heero said again, slowly this time, trying to control his anger, no one stole from Heero Yuy, particularly not taking his guns.

The small Duo looked at him, then down at the cookie jar. Without a word, he picked up the gun, aimed it randomly at the top of the jar and pulled the trigger.

**********

As Trowa, Quatre and Wufei walked along the hallway, a loud shot echoed from the living room. With a brief look at one another they set off running in that direction, desperately hoping Heero hadn't killed Duo, or worse…

Flinging open the door they came across an enraged Heero, and a small Duo with cookie crumbs all over his face. "What happened?" Demanded Quatre, "We heard a shot."

Heero pointed at the boy sitting on the floor. "The little…baka stole my gun, and used it…to open a COOKIE jar!" Wufei's face immediately turned bright red as he tried to control his laughter at the thought of someone actually stealing Heero's precious gun and using it as a cookie jar opener.

However his laughter did not last long, as Quatre soon pointed out that while they had been busy watching Wufei roll on the floor with mirth, Duo had crept off, and could be wreaking havoc around the house.

And so the great Duo hunt began.

***********

Heero immediately began searching in his and Duo's room, looking in all the closets and the bathroom, swiftly he checked to make sure his spare guns weren't missing and then his laptop, everything was the same, breathing a quiet sigh of relief, he plopped down on the bed, before falling backwards and into a deep sleep.

************

Trowa and Quatre checked their room, nothing. They asked Howard, nothing. They even checked the basement where the Gundams were being kept, but still Duo was not there, not even perched on Deathscythe's shoulder. 

Quatre and Trowa were about to give up when they walked past Wufei's open door. The Chinese boy was simply standing in the middle of the room, staring in horror. Quatre and Trowa walked in just in time to be hit by a flying piece of cloth.

Duo had found Wufei's sword, and, instead of leaving it like a normal child would have done, he was playing pirates. Unfortunately playing pirates involved smashing Wufei's small shrine, ripping his curtains to make eye patches and generally just making a mess.

Wufei was now trembling with barely controlled anger at the destruction of all that was precious to him, especially his silk curtains. 

His was about to pounce on the small menace when, to his great embarrassment, Duo found a picture of Sally Po, the braided boy held it up, considering it from all angles before turning to Wufei, waving the curved sword.

"Aha matey! She be a pretty lass!" Duo cackled, doing a pretty good Blackbeard impression. Wufei's entire face turned a wonderful shade of pink, and much to Quatre and Trowa's amusement seemed unable to say anything apart from, "INJUSTICE!"

The terrifying Blackbeard merely cackled harder.

To Be Continued…

D.D.: Ok People, you know the drill, reviews keep me on a high and inspire me to write more, so the more you review, the quicker this story will get done.

Duo: And then us poor Gundam pilots can kill her for the great injustice done to us…oh NOOOOO I'm starting to sound like Wufei now!

Wufei: Injustice Maxwell… *begins to chase the hapless Duo around the room*

D.D.: Ok, um, just, yeah review…um…


	4. The other man

Duo: At the moment, the authoress is sleeping *evil grin* so us Gundam pilots have hacked into the computer, Thankyou Heero…

Duo: At the moment, the authoress is sleeping *evil grin* so us Gundam pilots have hacked into the computer, Thankyou Heero…

Heero: *nod*

Duo: To undo the great inju…to right the wron…oh hell, since you can't really phrase this without sounding like Wufei, here's justice boy himself.

Wufei: Injustice Maxwell! However, I will forgive you this once, as I fully intend to keep the authoress asleep as long as possible. The plot, dear readers is this, now we have broken into the weak onna's computer, we will write our own ending to this already horrific story that portrays us like weaklings, before killing D.D.Duley.

Quatre: Don't you think that's just a bit too mean guys?

Duo: *face blank* No. I have no sense of decency anyway, so who cares?

Trowa: I'm sure her family would.

Duo: YOU SPOKE!!!! AHHH!! *Falls over in shock*

Heero: While the others ramble on dear friends, I have found out how to write on this primitive machine, so here we go, chapter four. *Zero eyes*

Duo continued cackling as Wufei's face got redder and redder. Suddenly the black-haired boy lunged at the evil looking pirate. But the other was too quick. Duo dodged behind what remained of the "pillaged temple" (Wufei's shrine) sending the pony-tailed dealer of justice crashing into the poor unoffending object.

While Wufei was removing himself from the wreckage, spluttering in anger, Duo ran past the still shocked Trowa and Quatre, heading down the hall.

"Stop him, he's headed for the doorway!" Shrieked Wufei, a _little_ bit too late I might add, the braided menace had already gone…

*********

He watched the still form curiously, the messy dark hair, chest rising and falling with each breath. The panther smiled evilly, white teeth gleaming in the light from the crack in the doorway. Slowly, oh so slowly, the big cat edged towards the bed, with deathly stillness he climbed up onto the said item, pausing as he hovered above his prey…

Heero, normally so watchful, even when asleep had no idea what had happened in Wufei's room, and even now, with danger lurking right above him, the perfect soldier was dead to the world, to worn out after watching Duo to even realise what was about to happen…

The icy water hit his bare chest with a loud splash, waking the poor boy with a gasp, then a loud yell. But the "panther" was already out of the door and heading down the hallway towards the relative safety of the living room. Relative safety meaning, if he had chosen anywhere else Heero would have found an implement to kill him with.

However Duo had reckoned without the other pilots.

Racing into the living room he jumped behind the armchair in one corner, hiding behind it and stuffing the end of his braid into his mouth to keep from giggling.

Four boys met outside the living room door, two looking slightly worried, two looking plain murderous. "He's in there?" Quatre asked Heero, indicating with a nod of his head the said piece of wood. "I believe so."

"Good," Wufei's eyes narrowed dangerously, "Let's finish him off here and now."

Duo: Uh guys, hellooo this is not meant to be a fic about people killing ME!!!

Wufei: Ah but you deserve it this time Maxwell."

Duo: No I don't, nonononono! You have me mixed up with someone else; the person in the fic is a different Duo! A little help Authoress?

D.D.: Zzzzzzzz

Wufei: WEAK appealing to a WOMAN for help…

Wufei waved his sword, (which he had retrieved after picking himself up off the floor) in a threatening manner.

The door was pushed open slowly, the hinges creaked slightly. Four heads poked cautiously round, expecting a custard pie in the face at any second. 

The room was completely empty.

Three boys left disappointed, two because they still didn't know whether the braided menace was out and about endangering lives and one because he couldn't kill the child.

Heero stood alone in the room, eyes narrowed, he wasn't the perfect soldier for nothing, he _knew_ Duo was in here somewhere, he'd just out wait the boy, Duo was so impatient he'd probably pop out of his hiding place in 5…4…3…2…Heero lunged forward and grabbed the emerging boy.

"Caught you!"

Duo stared up at Heero, "Hi Heero. What do you want?"

Heero's mouth fell open in shock, not only was Duo not at all worried about being _caught_ by Heero; he was treating the moment as if the past two hours had not happened. In other words, the five year old was winding up Heero a treat. Before the soldier could do anything drastic however, Duo spoke up again. "Can we watch cartoons Heero?"

"No." Heero snapped, trying to keep the strain out of his voice.

"Pleeeeeee…"

"NO." 

"…Eeeeeeease?"

"…"

"YAY!!" Duo bounced over to the TV, taking Heero's silence for consent, switching it on he flicked through channels, finding one that suited him, he plopped down on the sofa. "Sit and watch cartoons with me?"

"NO!" Heero growled, but stopped when he saw Duo's bottom lip quivering slightly, and his eyes going very wide. Sighing, he knew there would be no peace until he did what was asked of him. "Fine." He growled, stomping ungraciously over to the sofa and sitting next to Duo.

************

Relena smiled as she pulled up outside the pilot's safe house, once again she had managed to track Heero, it had been difficult this time, but being famous had its perks. "Wait here Pargan." She ordered, before walking up to the front door.

As she knocked, raucous laughter echoed from inside, frowning slightly she pushed open the door. Walking down the corridor towards the living room, she found the laughter was getting louder, it sounded like _Heero?_ She quickened her step, flinging open the door.

"Heer…OH!" she stopped dead in her tracks, right in front of her eyes, Heero Yuy, the love of her life was sitting on the sofa with another _man_!! Not only that, but he had one arm around the boy, and she knew who it was instantly, only one person in the entire colony could have a braid like that. She couldn't see the other boy, but from the voice and the braid she knew it was Duo.

Stomping round to the front of the sofa she didn't even give herself time to look before slapping the other boy…_hard_. A resounding crack echoed through the room.

Heero jumped to his feet, outraged. "What the hell do you think you're doing Relena?" he hissed through gritted teeth, he'd actually been _enjoying_ the cartoons, laughing harder than even Duo.

"I thought you loved me Heero!" She wailed mournfully, "and instead I find you curled up all cosy on the couch with him…" She pointed at poor Duo before stopping short again. "Oh, he's a little boy."

"Yes Relena, this is…Michael. Heero wasn't about to let on to the queen of the world that he was looking after a small Duo, she was an incredible gossip. "He's my youngest cousin."

"I never knew you had a cousin."

"I do now."

Duo meanwhile had had enough of Relena, not only had she interrupted the cartoon to hit him painfully across the face, but now she was taking Heero's attention away as well. Time to do something about that. Quietly he slipped out, heading for the bathroom…

He returned five minutes later with a smug expression on his face, glass of cola in his hand. Deliberately he banged into the queen of the world as she sat on the sofa, spilling the dark liquid all over her hair.

Drops splattered everywhere, even splashing Heero, who was sitting as far away as possible.

"my hair!" Shrieked Relena, jumping up and running to the mirror, "Aaaaah it's covered in it!!"

Duo put on a suitably apologetic face, "I'm sorry miss Relena, but we do have a bathroom, you could wash your hair." But make sure to use the purple bottle, the other one contains Mr Howard's chemicals."

As Relena flounced off to the bathroom, Duo grinned evilly, before settling back down on the sofa.

Duo: You're gonna stop there! I thought we were going to finish the story so we could kill her!

Heero: Hn.

D.D.: Zzzzz…huh? Where am I? Aaaaaargh WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FIC!!

Duo: Run, she's going to kill us…*to Wufei* This is all your fault!

WUfei: My fault! YOU are the weak one Maxwell… *voices fade into the distance*


	5. A new hairstyle for Relena...

D

D.D.: Good news pilots *walking up and down a row of caught and subdued Gundam Pilots* I have had a reviewer saying it would probably not be a good idea to kill you, so you're safe for the moment.

All: Whew.

D.D.: don't get relaxed yet my little pilots, you still have some suffering to do. *Evil grin*

Duo: But you don't want to make us suffer any more!

D.D.: Don't I?

All: NO!!!

Wufei: Us pilots, begging a woman for mercy…INJUSTICE women are weak.

D.D: Just for that Wufei you get to suffer even more. *Evil grin grows wider*

For what felt like the sixtieth time that day three anxious pilots heard a loud scream echoing through the house. However this time it sounded female.

Wufei leapt up from where he had been playing cards with Quatre and Trowa. "Aaaaah what the hell was that?"

"It appeared to be a scream, possibly of distress or anger." Trowa calmly stated, before turning to Quatre, "Wouldn't you agree?"

Quatre was simply staring at Trowa, "You…you spoke!" he screamed, before launching himself at the unsuspecting pilot. Trowa was completely unprepared for this attack and toppled over backwards onto the couch, all his normal grace completely thrown out of the window. [1]

"I think…I'll go and see what that was…" Wufei said, backing out of the room, leaving the other two alone.

***********

"Heeeeeero!" Relena screamed, storming back into the living room, Wufei's bathrobe around her. 

"What is it?" The said Heeeeeero asked, eyes never leaving the TV.

"LOOK AT ME!!!"

"No."

"Look at me Heero." A new pleading note entered Relena's tone of voice as she stood behind the two boys sitting on the sofa watching the cartoons.

Irritated Heero glanced briefly up, then doing a double take, "What the HELL happened to your hair?" He gasped shocked.

Relena's hair was no longer honey-blond, instead, it appeared to be jet black with green tints in it, not the sort of colour you'd want on your hair I'm sure. "I must've used the wrong bottle!" She wailed, before turning to 'Michael' [2] "You told me to use the purple bottle didn't you?" She asked tearfully.

"Yes ma'am, the other bottle has Mr Howard's chemicals in it."

"What's happened?" Wufei burst in, red faced from running and panting slightly. Not recognising Relena, but recognising his bathrobe he immediately drew his retrieved sword and held it at the poor girls throat. "Who are you and why have you got MY bathrobe on?"

Relena burst into hysterical sobs before running out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Just who did that?" Inquired Heero, it was…a question that did not really need to be answered. "Come on Duo, how did you do it?"

The five year old looked solemnly up at the dark-haired boy, "I just swapped the shampoo with hair dye."

"Why you…you…" Heero was struggling between helpless rage and helpless laughter. Duo looked up at the spluttering boy, violet eyes huge. 

"Please don't be mad at me Heero, I just wanted us to watch the cartoons with you."

It was then that Heero discovered the power of little children, and in particular those with large violet eyes. "I'm not mad Duo, now, lets finish watching the cartoons, ok?" 

**********

Three hours later Quatre looked in, to find two boys, one with a chestnut braid the other with short dark hair, curled up together, both fast asleep, cheeks resting against one another's. 

Both boys were smiling.

Quatre, smiled to himself before quietly shutting the door, hoping no one would disturb the two sleepers. Then he walked down the corridor to the bathroom, and began to wash his hair…

[1] Sorry, couldn't resist that I know Trowa does speak really, gomen.

[2] In the last chapter Heero lied, saying Duo's name was Michael. 

D.D.: Ahahahahah! Another cliff hanger, sorry this chapter is so short peeps, but school is now intervening with my spare time.

Duo: yeah right, like you care about school.

D.D.: Hmm, now you mention it, I DON'T particularly care for it, at least, not the chapel, lets go blow it up BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Heero: I think the time has come to retreat very quietly from the lunatic.

Wufei: You're right, lets go. NOW!!!


	6. Wufei's flying lesson.

D

D.D.: I'm back, and I brought a friend!

Duo: Aaaah noooo there's two of them now!

Nanashi: what the hell do you mean 'aaaah nooo there's two of them now?' 

Duo: Uh, nothing in particular.

Nanashi: Good, now lets have angst in this chapter, ANGST BWHAHAHAHAH! *Insane laughter* 

D.D.: Uh huuuuh, um, do you want to do the disclaimer?

Nanashi: Yes!!!

Wufei: Well get on with it onna!

D.D.: Uh Wufei? I really would not call her onna…

Nanashi: YOU CALLED ME ONNA?!!!! DIE!!!! *Takes Wufei's katana and waves it viciously*

Wufei: How the hell do you keep getting hold of that?

D.D.: We're the authoress', or at least _I_ am, so I provided it for Nanashi. *Evil grin* I'd run now Wufei…

Nanashi: *Chasing after Wufei* By the way, she doesn't own Gundam Wing…

D.D.: Thankyou Nanashi, now…lets get on with this shall we?

The next morning Trowa awoke to see a sleeping Quatre in the opposite bed, apparently Duo hadn't managed to do anything evil to the sweet natured boy as his head and body seemed intact, with everything its natural colour. _Well thank god for that, if anything happened to Quatre I don't know WHAT the rest of us would do…_

**********

Wufei was sitting on the roof. The safe house the pilots were staying in had a flat roof, and seeing as Duo hardly ever went up there it was likely he'd be able to meditate in peace. _I'm also safe from that braided fiend up here…_Wufei grinned to himself, it was handy having a private retreat, and now Duo was five again no doubt Quatre wouldn't let him up here as he might fall off, after all there was no railing around the edge.

"Hey Wufei!"

"AAAAAH!" Wufei screamed, leaping ten foot into the air and nearly falling off the edge of the roof. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE MAXWELL!!!"

Duo looked puzzled, but instead of answering Wufei's question he asked one of his own. "Hey Wufei why are you wearing blue? Do you think you're a bluebird or something?" 

"What a bluebird? That is a weak creature, I will not dignify that with an answer." He glared at the five year old, "Now go away, I'm very busy."

"No. I'll only go away if you play with me for ten minutes."

"WHAT!! That's demeaning; I will not play with a small child. Go play with Heero."

Duo pouted, "Heero's still asleep, and besides, your fun to wind up."

_"INJUSTIIIIICE!!!" _

**********

"Now remember Wufei, you're the bluebird ok?" Wufei grimaced as Duo reminded him yet again that he'd been conned into playing "birds" with the braided baka.

"Fine, fine, I'm a bluebird." He flapped his arms half-heartedly before turning around, "can I go now?"

"No, it hasn't been ten minutes yet."

"Hmph." Wufei ground out irritably.

"Oh and Wufei?" Duo asked innocently.

"What?"

"Remember…you can fly."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!" Wufei screamed as a sudden shove from behind him sent the poor boy flying over the edge and towards the ground…

***********

Heero was awoken to shouts from outside, and on peering cautiously out of the window to see if it was an Oz attack came across the strangest sight.

Wufei was running round on the lawn, flapping his arms and shouting at the top of his lungs "TWEET, TWEET!!"[1]

Heero blinked slightly, wondering if he had watched to many cartoons yesterday, but on closer inspection he saw Duo was running round with him. They were obviously playing some sort of game.

Yawning the pilot of Wing Zero was about to turn away from the window when he heard Wufei scream, "I CAN FLY!!" That didn't sound at all like the pony-tailed dealer of justice, after all, Wufei would not have stooped to such low acting, even to get rid of Duo, he was more likely to chop him into pieces with his katana.

Wufei: But Nanashi has my katana! So how can I?

D.D.: It's just part of the story ok? Now go back to running around frantically to escape Nanashi.

Wufei: : [

Heero started to worry slightly about Wufei's sanity, and quickly left the bedroom to go in search of Quatre.

***********

"So let me get this straight," Quatre said, "Duo, you pushed Wufei off the roof, and now he thinks he's a bluebird?" There was a tone in the blond-haired boys voice that was somewhere between shock, horror and great amusement.

Duo nodded from where he was sitting on Heero's lap, legs dangling on either side of the shorthaired boys knees, solemnly clutching the end of his braid. He had sat there because after looking at the faces of all the pilots crowded around him, he thought Heero's face looked the most sympathetic.

"Wufei I don't think that's a good idea!" Trowa called suddenly, leaping up to stop the said boy from trying to perch on the curtain rail.

"TWEET!!"

"Yes that's right, tweet, now come down from there."

While all this was going on, Howard ran into the room, waving a smoking file.

"I've done it I've found the antidote! Quick get it down im NOW!!"

To Be Continued… 

D.D.: Ahh yes, but is it the right antidote? Will Wufei ever regain sanity?

Wufei: I'd dam well better onna!

Nanashi: Will Wufei ever escape me?

All: Find out next time, same time, same channel…

D.D.: Aaaaand cut! Perfect, ok peeps, we can all have a rest now!

Duo: Finally! Lets go eat!

[1] This idea is copyrighted to Detective Daniella Duley - The Hunt And The Hunted. (Script for stage production.)


	7. Nightmares....

D

D.D.: Welcome back one and all, to the fic of the century…

Duo: Oh shut up and stop boasting Daniella, everyone knows you have lots of reviews, but other people have more, so get on with this god damned fic, so Wufei can regain his sanity and I can become my proper age again.

Wufei: _YES_ onna, I WANT MY SANITY BACK!!!

D.D.: Oh be quiet Wu Wu.

Wufei: WHAT did you call me!!! 

D.D.: Well isn't that what Sally calls you? *Evil grin*

Wufei: *splutters incoherently*

Duo: Ahahahahahahah! Your secrets out now Chang!

Nightshadow: Hey there!

Heero: Oh my god another one? Where will it end? *Pulls out gun* Omae O korusu…

D.D. *with a quick wave of her hand the gun is removed and placed in Nightshadow's hand* Ok, he's all yours to take revenge on…*Smiles evilly*

Nightshadow: Good! *Chases a fuming Heero off-stage*

Duo: Hey Wufei where's your stalker?

Wufei: What Nanashi? I escaped her…

Nanashi: *from shadows* Do you really want to bet on that _Wu Wu?_

_ _

Wufei: Oh god she still has my katana as well!! *Runs off screaming swiftly followed by a yelling Nanashi*

D.D.: Ok Duo, looks like it's just me and you for the moment, all the others are gone… speaking of which, where's Trowa and Quatre?

Duo: *grinning* Do you really want to know?

D.D.: ^_^;;;; Uh, perhaps not…

Howard didn't have his sunglasses on, this was probably the first time anyone had seen him without them and this _could_ explain why he poured the contents of the tube into the wrong boy's mouth. Or it could have been (as Wufei later said) because he was too damn stupid to know which pilot was which, but we all hope that isn't the case. 

It probably was the sunglasses; after all, having been in eternal gloom for the past however many years, the eyes are bound to have become shortsighted. Whatever the case may have been, the content of the gently smoking vile was poured down…Wufei's throat.

For a while nothing happened, Wufei carried on running round, flapping his arms and yelling "TWEET!!!" at the top of his lungs. But within five minutes his running slowed and he blinked once or twice.

"Quatre walked cautiously up to him, "Uh Wufei?"

"What? Why are you all looking at me like that?" The black-haired boy asked, just a little confused as to what had happened. Quite obviously he didn't remember a thing.

"How are you…um…feeling?"

"FINE!! Why the hell are you all staring at me? And _why_ am I wearing a blue leotard?"

A muffled noise burst from Trowa's lips that sounded suspiciously like a restrained giggle. 

Quatre began to sweat slightly; he'd rather face a thousand mobile dolls than tell Wufei he'd been running round like a madman for the last hour. Luckily he didn't have to; instead someone with a much larger mouth did that for him.

Duo, who, up until now, had still been perched on Heero's knees, jumped down and walked over to the now, much taller boy. Looking up he tilted his head to one side. "I liked it better when you thought you were a bluebird." He murmured regretfully, "Why did you have to change back?"

Wufei stared at him for a while, his face not going bright red this time, but a very pale white. _"What?" he hissed._

Duo backed away slightly, suddenly unsure as to whether the Chinese boy would kill him, "You…I…made you think you were a bluebird, and you were incredibly funny…" he cut off his own sentence as he yelped suddenly and dived behind Heero as Wufei lunged at him. Screaming one word.

"DIE!!!" 

However this threat was not carried out, as he found himself looking down the end of a gun. Heero, who had been standing between the two of them, had pulled a gun on Wufei. 

"Make another move towards Duo and I shoot you." He said, tone low and deadly.

D.D.: Whoooo! Duo and Heero still have _some kind of connection in my fic. ^_^_

Duo: When _haven't we?_

D.D.: Hmm, good point, maybe I'll make this a 1+2 fic after all.

Heero: *rolls eyes knowing full well there is nothing he can do about it*

Wufei glared round Heero's legs at the violet-eyed innocent looking five year old. "Come near me once more and your precious perfect soldier won't be able to protect you again." With this final threat he stalked out, or at least tried to. To be completely accurate he tripped over a plastic truck (one of the many things that had been obtained by Quatre for Duo yesterday) and fell flat on his face with a thump. Trowa did not even bother to disguise his laughter this time. Nursing his injured pride and deflated ego Wufei got up and stormed out.

"Hmm." Howard muttered, "Maybe it was _five drops of anphorm not three…" He walked away, still muttering to himself, and occasionally scratching his head before writing on a crumpled piece of notepaper, leaving three exasperated Gundam pilots behind him._

************

Violet orbs shone in the darkness as Duo sat bolt upright, tears of fright streaming from his wide eyes. Desperately he clutched his braid, rocking himself too and fro in an attempt to calm himself down.

It didn't work.

Heero wasn't really asleep, sure he had been dozing slightly, but he was too worried about the little menace in the opposite bed to really fall into deep slumber. 

The sound of quiet sobbing dragged him out of a dreamy haze of mind. The sobbing appeared to be coming from Duo's bed, not loud enough so anyone else would hear, more like little whimpers really, but they were there all the same.

"Duo? What's wrong?"

The child jumped suddenly, up until then, completely unaware that the other occupant of the room had been awake. "N…nothing."

Sighing Heero slipped out from between the sheets and padded across the carpet. "Come on, what is it?"

Wide violet eyes looked at him, silver tears still shimmering at the edges. "I had a nightmare…"

Heero sat down on the edge of the bed. "What about?"

"All of you were dead, it was horrible I kept…I kept…" Duo broke down into little sobs again, "I kept calling you all, but you wouldn't wake up…"

Heero was by now in what can only be described as unfamiliar territory, not only was he unused to dealing with little children, but normally Duo was so cheerful. Hesitantly he put his arms around the five year old. "It's ok, we're all here, all alive, all ok…" He continued to speak calmingly in a soothing tone for several minutes before Duo eventually stopped crying.

Looking down Heero saw Duo had fallen asleep. With what would have been called a smile if it had been on anybody's face but that of the perfect soldier's, Heero tried to remove Duo's arms from around his neck.

This did not work.

The smile faded slightly as Heero tried again, unfortunately _still nothing happened, Duo was grasping the other boy's neck too tightly._

Sighing the older boy decided to give up, it was late, he was now rather tired, and besides Duo wasn't that much of a pest when he was asleep. Swiftly he stood up and walked across to his bed, pulling back the covers while supporting Duo, getting in he pulled the blankets back around them before drifting off into the pleasant land of dreams…

*************

The next mornings awakening, was not so pleasant.

"Yuy have you seen Maxwe…JESUS CHRIST!!!!" Wufei shrieked, having walked in on two boys, one older one younger fast asleep…in the same bed. Blinking Heero sat up. 

"Wufei what on _earth is the matter?"_

"You…he…what…?" was all Wufei managed to get out before the black-haired boy, charged back down the corridor, nose bleeding furiously.

All over breakfast Wufei kept giving the pair funny looks.

To Be Continued…

D.D.: Ok, maybe I won't make this 1+2.

All: thank god!

D.D.; Hmm ok I WILL!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAH!! (If anybody wants I'll put a little 1+2 epilogue on the end, 'kay?)

Nanashi: Oh not MORE 1+2 Daniella, can't you write something more…_constructive?_

D.D.: Nope. *Smiles* Well people keep reviewing, though all of you have gone above and beyond the call of duty, and I want to thank everyone who…

Wufei: Woman you are not receiving an Emmy, now finish writing this goddamn fic!!

D.D.: *sigh* Yes sir, Mr Wufei SIR!! 

Wufei: are you mocking me onna?

D.D.: Of _course not._

Nightshadow: Heero escaped, but I'll get him next time. *Evil grin* After all, we have to have _some entertainment in this little story don't we?_

D.D.: Hmm, You're right, oh and while I remember thanks so much for giving me the nightmare idea ^_^

Nanashi: Hopefully more should appear soon…


	8. Dear Father Christmas....

D

**D.D.:** Ok my friends, I WILL be making this 1+2, but ONLY at the end in a little sort of epilogue, so those of you that don't want to read that will just stop reading when it says FINISH!! But are we finished with this fic yet?

**Nanashi:** HELL NO!!!

**D.D.:** Well Nanashi, you're right, Hell no we're not.

**Nightshadow:** So what's going to happen now?

**D.D.:** Hmm…where did I leave off?

**Nightshadow:** Uh…oh yeah, Wufei giving Heero and Duo funny looks. That boy really needs to get his mind out of the gutter.

**Wufei:** I _heard_ that onna!! My mind is not in the gutter Thankyou! That is a deadly insult, and justice must now be served…*pulls out ten foot long katana*

**D.D.:** *sigh* Wufei haven't you learnt yet?

**Wufei: **Learnt what?

**D.D.: ***waves hand and Wufei's katana disappears before reappearing in Nanashi's hand* HAH!

**Wufei:** *Sulks* She always gets my stuff.

**D.D.:** Hard. Cheese.^_^ 

**Duo:** *Poking head around the door* Is she gone?

**D.D.: **Who? 

**Duo:** Uh…never mind…^_^;; eheheheh…

**D.D.: ***Scowl* I'm beginning to hate you guys, maybe I should kill you all off… 

**Heero: **Omae O korusu…*pulls out gun*

**D.D.: **Eep! *Dives behind a convenient sofa* Why are you trying to kill me?!

**Heero:** You're annoying me.

**D.D.:** Hmph.

**Nanashi:** I think she's annoying all of us…

**D.D.: ***forgetting the gun wielding Heero and sticking head out from behind sofa* I heard that!!

**Nanashi:** So?

**D.D.:** *Heero's gun appears in her hand* HAH!! Now pay the price!!! *Evil grin*

**Heero:** HEY!!!!

**Nanashi:** *evil grin as well* HAHAHAHAH!!! *Waves Wufei's katana*

**Nightshadow: **Oh dear…ladies and gentlemen, please…um…avert your eyes from the scenes which are about to unfold… *camera blacks out* Um…now on with the fic!!!! Eheheheh…^_^;;;;

*Screams, shouts and a fair amount of cursing is heard*

**We are now going to move forward three weeks into the next part of our story**… 

_ _

Ah Christmas eve, a time of joy, hope, thanksgiving, miracles and peace and qui…

"INJUSTIIIIIIIIICCE!!!"

…et…hmm, maybe not…

Wufei stormed through the once quiet house, searching for none other than the object of our attentions. 

Namely Duo. 

He found the boy in his joint room with Heero, gazing at the television screen as the said Heero made a woman on the screen jump over a pit of spikes. 

**Nightshadow:** Just a quick little interruption, yes this is Tomb Raider, no she doesn't own it and…um…*in the background you can see D.D. and Nanashi trying to kill one another…still* OH DARN!!! WHO TURNED THE CAMERA BACK ON!!!??

"MAXWELL!!!" Shouted Wufei angrily, his eyes looked ready to pop out of his head in agitation. 

The evil five year old looked over at Wufei calmly, and then promptly climbed into Heero's lap. "What is it Wufei?"

Wufei spluttered for a couple of seconds, knowing full well he now had no chance of killing the child. When Duo was with Heero, he was perfectly safe. Finally he controlled himself and looked towards the two boys on the old battered armchair. "Maxwell." He said, his voice deadly calm, "why did you write onna on Nataku?"

Duo blinked, looking innocent, (yes my friends he had found out about the Gundams, and in particular showed interest in Nataku. Luckily he had not attempted to pilot them…yet.) "Why Wufei, onna is a good word, you should wear it on your Gundam with pride…ack!"

Wufei, now having forgotten about Heero had leapt across the distance towards Duo and was trying to strangle him. 

A blow sent Wufei reeling, and he remembered as he fell that Heero had been in the room. (A bit late really.)

************

For a couple of weeks now it had been in Duo's habit to wait until his protector, namely Heero, was asleep and then creep quietly into the older boys bed. So when Heero awoke in the morning he would find himself cuddling a little five year old with an angelic smile on his sleeping face. Now how cute is that folks? Answer, very cute, and truth be told Heero didn't really mind although Duo got the daily lecture about it. And did Duo pay _any_ notice? Well, since we're talking about the god of death, (even if he is five again) I would quite honestly say that Duo took about as much notice, as he would've had his foot been run over by an ant.

**D.D.: ***holding Nanashi at arms length* This is just a quick sort of summary of how close Heero and Duo had become…GACK!! *Nanashi tries to strangle her*

So now it is, the day before Christmas, Duo was sitting at the breakfast table, a sheet of paper and a pencil in front of him, his tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth, and his eyes were nearly crossed as he concentrated.

"Duo, what are you doing?" Quatre asked from where he sat across the table, "you've been writing for half an hour already."

Duo frowned harder and didn't look up as he spoke, "I'm writing to Father Christmas, he brings presents to you…how do you spell scythe?"

"S…C…Y…T…H…E…why?"

"Oh I'm asking for one for Christmas." Duo blinked and looked up, "Father Christmas WILL bring it for me won't he?"

"What's all this about?" Asked Heero as he walked into the room.

"Duo's writing to Father Christmas." Quatre explained, seeing the said Duo was no longer listening, but concentrating on the oh so important letter.

"Ah." Heero shot Quatre a look that quite plainly said, "HELP HAVE WE GOT HIM SOMETHING???!!!"

Quatre subtly shook his head and indicated that he and Trowa would go shopping, he then quietly slipped from the room.

"Heeeeero?"

"Hmm?"

Duo looked up from his letter, "Have you got me something for Christmas?"

"Uh…yes, but you can't see it yet."

Duo snickered slightly, "I know that Hee-chan, because it's not Christmas yet!"

"Don't call me that."

"Call you what Heeeee-chaaaan?"

'Heeeee-chaaaaan' glared at the five year old, but it was only a half-hearted attempt. "Are you finished with the letter yet Duo?"

The five year old nodded, "Wanna see?" Without waiting for a reply he thrust the letter into Heero's hand. Heero glared again, but looked down at the slightly grubby piece of paper.

Dear Father Christmas,

My Name is Duo and for Christmas I would like these things.

1) A new video player so Heero and I can watch more cartoons.

2) Some new videos to watch on the player.

3) Some black paint.

4) Some pink paint.

5) Some new hair ties, as Heero is complaining about how much my hair ties are costing at the moment, since I manage to break one every day.

6) A new scythe.

7) For Wufei to turn into a girl.

(Here Heero choked slightly.)

8) For Relena to leave us all alone.

I hope you can give me all these things, if you don't I have a feeling the North Pole will never be the same again after I get Heero to blast it with his beam cannon.

Yours Sincerely,

Duo Maxwell.

Heero blinked slightly, it was a very…interesting letter. "Um, Duo? I'm not sure if you're allowed to threaten Father Christmas."

Duo shrugged, "It doesn't matter anyway, I'm sure he'll take it seriously."

*************

Meanwhile Trowa and Quatre were out shopping…

"What should we get him?" Quatre mused out loud, "Any ideas Trowa?"

"…"

"What a good idea!" Quatre chirped, "I love it when you come up with such wonderful ideas Trowa-chan!" And with that he dragged the taller boy off towards the hardware shop.

*************

"Pink paint, black paint, hair ties…I think that's everything." Quatre muttered under his breath. (Don't ask me how he knew what Duo wanted.) "Come on Trowa, time to go home."

*************

Wufei peered through his binoculars at the house, it looked so peaceful under the rapidly darkening sky, so innocent, it would be impossible to guess what a terrible horror lay within.

Focussing the lenses he peered through the living room window once more, frowning slightly as he realised that whatever the objects of his attention was doing, it wasn't what he expected…

*************

Duo giggled again, as he stuffed more popcorn into his mouth, leaning contentedly against Heero as he did so.

The two boys were sitting in the living room, watching an old Bond film, Duo, for some unexplainable reason, was loving every minute of it, especially whenever a new 'bad guy' appeared.

Heero was also enjoying it, despite the constant threat of a new Duo disaster; he had rather enjoyed the past three weeks. Watching cartoons had been fun, playing in the back garden had been fun, rolling in mud had been…an interesting experience. In fact every morning Heero found himself waking up hoping Duo would never change back to his original age. A strange thought, but one can only say it was an honest emotion.

Suddenly he was caught off guard by Duo suddenly leaping onto his lap with a yell. "AAARGH!!"

Heero immediately leapt up, looking for the enemy, dumping Duo on the floor in the process. Duo just leapt straight back up again however. "What? What is it? What's the matter?"

Duo continued shivering slightly as he clung to Heero's neck. "There's something out there…"

************

Wufei had almost given up hope of spotting anything unusual about the two boys in the living room; in fact he had almost begun to think it was his paranoid emotions, almost, not quite. 

Just as he was about to pack the whole thing in, Duo leapt into Heero's arm, Wufei instantly took this the wrong way…

**Nightshadow: **Again I say, Wufei needs to get his mind out of the gutter…

…and focussed the lens of his binoculars in on the 'embracing' couple.

"Aha! Now they cannot deny it!" He muttered, still staring hard, "Although I must admit it is disgusting, a child Duo's age and a fellow Gundam Pilot such as Heero…" 

A rustling from the bushes behind him completely failed his notice, until five seconds later a quiet voice said, "Hello Wufei."

"AAAAAH!!!"

To Be Continued… 

**D.D.:** Ah another chapter finished…*yawns* Well, hope you enjoyed folks, once again thanks to whoever reviewed, I am so eternally grateful, words cannot express… 

**Nightshadow:** Uh, D.D.? Where's Nanashi?

**D.D.: **Uh…*thinks long and hard* We had that fight, um…oh yeah, then she went off to torture Wufei. *snicker*

**_*a shout is heard off stage, it sounds remarkably like 'injustice'*_**

**Duo:** So are we nearly finished yet?

**D.D.: **Hmm, I think, about…two more chapters to go, yeah, and then…um…epilogue?

**Duo:** 'kay then.

**D.D. **Oh yeah, I have something to show you pilots…

**All (including Nightshadow, and Nanashi who has appeared again): **What?

**D.D.: ***clears throat dramatically* I have a new book, and it gives ALL the details of you pilots…listen…

_Heero Yuy: May self-destruct when cornered, approach with caution._ *giggles* Sounds like a time bomb doesn't he?

**Heero:** Omae O korusu…

**D.D.:** Duo Maxwell…

**Duo: **Uh oh…^_^;;;;

**D.D.: **_Although unmatched in stealth operations, he can be very loud and annoying in open battle…ahahahahahah!!!_

**Duo: **Oh that is it, you are so dead, I think I'll kill you now and have done with it…

**D.D.: ***shrugs* It's been tried before and it didn't work, I appear to have a sub-reality field that only lets GOOD things happen to me, and besides, this is what the book says. (ground Zero.) Hmm, Trowa…nothing interesting…ahah! Quatre Raberba Winner…

_He is at his most terrifying when he becomes mentally unbalanced; use caution_. 

**Quatre: **Just because I happened to suffer a personal disaster and take my feelings out on a couple of nearby colonies, everyone's going to hold it against me for the rest of my life?

**D.D. **Yup, and last and certainly least…Chang Wufei. *evil grin* _He has his own ethical standards, beware of falling outside his moral boundaries_. HEY this is ok!! Why didn't they do a nasty one about Wufei? *sulks*

**Wufei: ***smugly* Justice…

**D.D.: **Oh well, can't win 'em all, but at least on the back cover Relena looks like the happy fairy from La La land…a right idiot if I do say so myself…

**Duo:** *grabs ground Zero* Where? This I have gotta see…*other pilots crowd round and laughter begins to issue from the group*

**Nanashi:** So, what fic you continuing with now?

**D.D.: **Hmm, not sure…maybe ghost, maybe over the hills and far away…

**Nightshadow:** Oh Ghost!! Come on! I want to get chapter four up!

**Nanashi: **NO!! Shaken Not Stirred! *continues arguing with Nightshadow.*

**D.D.: ***quietly walks off to resume another story, in which she can continue to torture our beloved pilots…*

****


	9. T'was the night before christmas and all...

**D.D.:** Hey people! I'm so sorry for not updating for so long but…school, among other things, so without much further ado, part nine!

**Chirenwolf:** *clears throat* Um…excuse me?

**D.D.:** *smacks forehead* Sorry 'bout that ChirenWolf, everybody, meet my sorta unofficial beta reader ChirenWolf! 

**ChirenWolf: ** Hey there everyone, nice to meet you all!

**D.D.:** Right…*rolls up sleeves and conjures up a scythe, handing it to ChirenWolf* Take your pick of a pilot, we have Quatre left, Trowa or…*evil grin* Duo…

**Duo:** *cowers slightly* oh no…

**Chirenwolf:** Oh yes…*chases Duo offstage, closely followed by Nanashi and Wufei, and Nightshadow and Heero.*

**D.D.:** Now, to continue with the story…but first, a little message to Wufei from a couple of people. *clears throat* GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE DAMN GUTTER! Hope you can hear me Wufei.

**Wufei:** it would be very hard not to, considering you just yelled in my ear. Injustice…

Now…where to continue from? Oh yes, I remember now…*clears throat* 

Wufei leapt up, binoculars dropping to the floor unheeded as he glared at the figure behind him, "Barton! What the hell did you do that for!" he yelled, before stooping to pick up his glasses.

"Sorry Wufei." Trowa shrugged, "But we saw someone crouching in the bushes near the house and thought it could be an Oz spy. Quatre's around somewhere with his gun."

Before Wufei could utter a curse however, a loud war cry issued from off to one side and a figure hurtled through the undergrowth, promptly knocking Wufei on the head so he fell to the floor…unconscious.

"Did I get him?" Quatre panted, "Did I get the Oz spy?"

"Uh…" Trowa paused and got out his torch, "Not exactly…you see…" He clicked it on, "You got Wufei."

"Oh."

******************

Duo blinked sleepily, one arm still around Heero's neck, as the thumb of his other hand was in his mouth. "Heero?"

"Mmm?" Heero turned his head slightly to look at the sleepy five year old clinging to his neck, "What is it Duo?" 

"Thank you…"

"For what?"

Duo cuddled closer to the normally stoic pilot, "For protecting me from whatever was out there…and for looking after me…" he blinked again, sticking his thumb back into his mouth as his eyes drooped closed.

"That's perfectly alright Duo. I've had fun looking after you." Heero looked down to see the angel of a five year old had fallen asleep, one arm still clutching his neck…again.

Smiling slightly the perfect soldier let his own eyes droop closed, but just as he was falling into a deep sleep, an impatient knock sounded on the front door. Snapping awake again Heero tried to get up to answer the door.

First he tried removing Duo's arm from around his neck. This didn't work; Duo merely snuggled closer, tightening his hold. Then he tried standing up and placing the child back on the sofa, again…it didn't work; Duo clung to his neck like a monkey, still fast asleep.

Growling softly, Heero shifted the small child to his hip, and, supporting him with one hand, walked down the hallway to answer the door.

"Quatre?" he asked, slightly surprised to find himself face to face with the blonde Arabian, "What's the matter? I thought you were out shopping…and who the hell is that?"

"Wufei." Quatre replied grimly, "Trowa and I were just returning from our expedition when Trowa heard as noise, he told me to wait while he went and checked it out, well, I waited for ages, and finally got impatient, came to a clearing, saw him talking to an unknown person and…well, you can guess the rest."

"Ah." Heero nodded slightly and moved aside, opening the door wider for Quatre and an irate Trowa (who had Wufei slung over one shoulder) to come in. "Put him upstairs to bed then."

"Roger that." Quatre muttered, and then caught sight of Duo balanced on Heero's hip. "Aw, how cute! He doesn't want to be parted from his mummy!"

This received him a Heero Yuy Death glare™. "No, he's just tired that's all. I'm not the baka's mother." However the sight of the boy and infant argued in Quatre's defence. Duo was clinging to Heero's neck, one arm wrapped around it, thumb in his mouth as he slept.

Heero looked down at the small boy and realised that the picture did indeed betray his stout denial. "Hn. Just take Chang upstairs Winner." And with that the perfect soldier stalked upstairs towards the room where he and Duo slept.

As soon as they had both disappeared Wufei groaned slightly and sat up. "I knew it! Those two are in love! I am never wrong, the spirit of Nataku guides me…"

Quatre tried to stifle a giggle as he listened to the justice crazed pilot, but the blonde's efforts were thwarted when he looked over at Trowa, and noted that the banged boy was hitting his head repeatedly against the wall. Muttering every time his head thumped the plaster. "Why. Do. I. Bother. To. Stay. With. These. Maniacs!"

Quatre snorted as he desperately tried to contain the giggles, he even tried stuffing a handkerchief in his mouth…but nothing worked. Once you start laughing and try to stop it's impossible. 

Wufei's head snapped up. "Is something the matter Winner?" He glared at the red Arabian, "Because if you are laughing at me, then you are putting my honour to shame and must pay for it!"

And with that he drew his katana (from god knows where) and began chasing poor Quatre around the room. Screaming at the top of his lungs. "INJUUUSTIICE!"

"Will you keep it down?" A voice snapped from the doorway, "I was _trying_ to sleep." Wufei stopped chasing Quatre and Trowa stopped giving himself what was turning into the biggest headache of all time. 

"Sorry Heero." They all chorused meekly under the super death glare. 

"I'll try to be quiet when I scream." Wufei offered, putting his katana down at his side.    

"And I'll stop thumping the plaster with my head." Trowa remarked helpfully.

"And I promise not to giggle anymore." Three surprised pairs of eyes met light blue one's. "Well I will." Quatre added, sounding a little defensive and dangerous.

"Thankyou." Heero was just about to head back to the nice warm bed when a thought occurred to him. "Will you lay Duo's presents out under the tree please? Don't bother with a stocking."

"Why not?" Quatre asked, won't he be disappointed?"

"No. I've made him one."

"WHAT!" Wufei blinked in astonishment, "Heero Yuy…the Heero Yuy actually going out of his way to buy _Christmas presents_ for people? I don't believe it."

Heero snorted, turning away again, "Believe it Wu Wu." And with that he left the room. Leaving behind two quiet pilots and one spluttering one.

"Injustice, he called me 'Wu Wu' I always wondered how long it would take for him to pick up Maxwell's habits. I'm shocked that Yuy called me that…such an injustice…" Wufei continued ranting to himself as he stalked out of the room, heading towards his own.

Shaking his head Quatre turned to Trowa. "Well, we'd better get wrapping the presents then hadn't we?"

*****************

Heero padded back into the bedroom he shared with Duo and sighed slightly at the sight in front of him.

Two minutes before the shouts and thumping had been heard downstairs, he had managed to pry Duo's arms away from his neck and place the small child in his own bed. Now however, the younger one was still in bed…just not his own. 

Frowning Heero walked forward with all intention of chucking the five year old back into his own bed, but stopped when he saw the little smile of contentment on Duo's face. With an expression of resignation he pulled the covers back and climbed in next to the warm body.

Immediately a small arm clasped around his neck, and, upon looking down he found himself staring into a twin pair of sleepy violet orbs. The eyes blinked muzzily before the little boy smiled up at his protector.

"Hello Heero." The words came out a bit slurred, not only because of sleep, but also the thumb that was in Duo's mouth.

"Duo, why can't you sleep in your own bed?"

The child frowned for a minute before burying his face in Heero's neck. Mumbling, "Because you'll protect me from the monsters."

Heero was surprised by this one, monsters? Since when did Duo worry about monsters? "Duo, there are no monsters, they do not exist." He stated, trying to reassure the smaller boy.

A shaking of the head indicated that Duo disagreed with this sentence. "Yes there are Heero…"

"Is."

"Is. They come and try and eat me, but only when I'm asleep on my own. They're afraid of you." The braided boy said emphatically as he moved his head to look up at the stoic soldier. "And when you're here they can't hurt me."

"…" Heero didn't really know what to say to this one, Duo seemed so sure about these 'monsters.'

"Hey Heero?"

"What?"

"Do you believe in Father Christmas?"

"Uh…" Heero looked down into the innocent eyes and suddenly felt the need to lie. "Yes?" he ventured.

"Good." Duo snuggled back down again, laying his head on the pillow next to Heero's. "Heero?"

"Mmm?" Heero was starting to drift off to sleep already as the warmth under the blanket made him drowsy. 

"Do you think Father Christmas will bring me what I want?"

"Duo?"

"What?"

"I'm sure he will…now go to sleep."

"Okay then."

****************

Downstairs Quatre stuck the last piece of sellotape on the wrapping paper and admired the presents stacked under the Christmas tree.

"We did a pretty good job ne Trowa?"

"Yes, I hope Duo likes these."

"He should do. After all, this sort of stuff is right up his alley, he'll probably love the pink paint…and especially…" Quatre trailed off grinning secretively. 

"You didn't!"

"Uh huh." Quatre smiled smugly, looking at the slightly taller boy. "I did."

"How did you convince him…?"

"It was easy, you just have to know what to say."

"You mean…you _blackmailed_ him?" Trowa's one visible eye widened in shock. "With what, he's so…so…straight!"

**D.D.:** Uh…not in that sense…in the normal sense, not going against the law etc…I really should work on my wording though.

"Weeeell, let's just say he's not as straight forward as he seems." Quatre's smug smile turned into an evil grin, "And I managed to find out about a little something he didn't want anyone else to know."

"Well what is it?"

"It's a secret."

"Well at least tell me what it was!"

"If I told you it wouldn't be a secret would it?" Quatre said, evil grin returning to his normal smile. "Now I think it's time we were in bed, despite the fact it's Christmas tomorrow we'll want plenty of rest to have the energy to look after Duo, give Heero a rest."

"Agreed."

Two minutes later the house lay silent and still under the starless night, unbeknownst to most of the sleeping boys however, a silent figure was creeping silently through the corridors…

To Be Continued…

**D.D.: ** *looks at running readers* Oh come on! It wasn't that bad…right? Hello?


	10. Merry Christmas!

**D.D.: ** Right people, first and foremost, I want to wish everyone, no matter who you are, a very merry Christmas! Oh and so do the G-boys…*indicates pilots*

**Duo:** I don't know why we have to wear these stupid hats…

**Heero:** Or this tinsel…

**Wufei:** OR THIS SKIRT!!!!

**D.D.:** *tries to hold back giggles* It's just part of the festive season…so, let's get on with this shall we? It's the last chapter there is folks, but all the thankyous will be in the epilogue**_. (No 1+2 epilogue so for those non yaoi lovers, you're ok! However if people DO want an alternative epilogue, you have but to ask!_** ^_^)

"No, NO!" A voice snapped from down the corridor, "You have to act the part perfectly…"

A loud mutter issued from behind the closed wooden door, "But I don't _want_ to act this perfectly…it's humiliating enough taking lessons from an onna…without having to act the part as well!"

"Deal with it." The first voice snapped, obviously fed up to the back teeth with the second voice, "He wants you as a female on Christmas day, so tough luck."

"All this for a little child…it is an injustice!" The second voice took on an almost wheedling quality, "Come on Sally, it's really late…you don't want to be here any more than me."

"No, you have to get this right." Sally sounded firm now, "All we have to do now is something about your hair."

Wufei let out a loud scream as Sally advanced towards him, holding a pair of curling tongs and a bottle of hair dye. "Oh no you don't onna! I refuse to have my hair dyed."

"Then you must at least wear a wig." Sally snapped, shoving the offending item on poor Wufei's head, "And the trousers have to go, you'll wear _this_." She held up a pink skirt and top, so I suggest you put them on so you can get used to wearing them."

"Fine." Wufei sounded not only furious but upset as well, "But turn around while I put them on, I'm not going to have an onna watching me get dressed." Before he could reach for the pink garment however, he was rewarded with a sound slap around the side of his head. "OW! What did you do that for?!"

"Enough with the 'onna'," Sally said firmly, "I have a name, use it."

"Fine." Wufei said again, before successfully retrieving the garments, it was going to be a long night.

*****************

"SNOW!!"

That was the first noise Heero heard; it rudely jolted him out of a deep sleep, mumbling under his breath about, "stupid little braided bakas…" he opened his eyes. 

Duo was bouncing on the end of the bed excitedly peering out of the window, face pressed against the glass and violet eyes wide. Turning he noticed Heero glaring at him, "Look Heero, SNOW!" He yelled again, jumping up and down again, before bouncing off the mattress and towards the door.

Heero was rather glad of this, the bouncing had been making him feel sick. "Duo? Where are you going?" He managed, just as the small boy headed out of the door. A head poked back around.

"I'm going out to play in the snow Heero, coming?"

"But what about all your presents…" Heero trailed off, wrapping paper lay scattered everywhere, obviously having been ripped off in a great hurry. 

"I've already opened them silly!" Duo's whole body bounced back into the room again. "See, I got a soldier and some paint and some hair ties and some more paint and look at this?" He indicated an object in the corner, "My own sledge!"

_I wonder how much Quatre had to fork out for that?_ Heero thought to himself, the sledge was painted a gleaming black with just enough room for two fully-grown people to sit on. _Must have been a lot._ He decided, before another bounce on the mattress brought his attention back down again.

"Come and play with me Heero?" Violet eyes pleaded out of an innocent looking face.

"Uh…"

"PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSEEE Heero?" Duo begged, bouncing up and down for more emphasis on the loud begging.

Heero turned faintly green as the bed continued to bump and sway slightly, "Fine." He said shortly through clenched teeth, "But I'm not riding on the sledge, and you're having breakfast first."

His reward for having reluctantly giving in was a loud whoop and then something warm and decidedly Duo hit his chest, gave him a big bear hug and jumped off again to run shrieking down the halls, "Quatre? Quatre? I want breakfast quickly! Heero said he'd play with me in the snoooooow…" The voice faded off into the distance as Duo entered the kitchen.

Sighing, Heero got up, another morning, another day of the chibi Duo, another day of play…

Smiling the perfect soldier proceeded to slip into something a bit warmer than his usual outfit. [1]

**************

When Heero entered the kitchen Duo was wolfing down a plate of eggs and bacon, Quatre was standing in front of the oven, frying more bacon and Trowa was leaning against the counter watching him.

Sitting down at the table Heero poured some cereal into a bowl before realising that the fifth and final member of the group had not appeared yet. _Hmm, maybe he's still sore about the knockout last night._ Heero thought, an uncharacteristic grin lighting his features for a moment before being wiped away. 

Quatre turned around and placed the bacon he had just been frying in front of Wufei's empty chair, before he too realised that the pony-tailed dealer of justice was not there. "Hey, where's Wufei?" He wondered out loud, before turning to Trowa, "You don't think he's backed out of it do you…" He paused, turning around again as he realised that the other two occupants of the room were listening with great interest. Well, that's not entirely accurate, one was listening, the other was eating as fast as possible and listening.

"Eheh…so, who want more bacon?" Quatre said lightly, moving as fast as possible towards the fridge on the other side of the room, "We've got plenty…" His voice became muffled as his head disappeared inside the chilled recesses. 

An indignant cough brought all four of the rooms occupant's eyes towards the doorway, where there stood…a _girl?_  

A pink skirt came down to just above her knees, ending in a little frill, pink earrings dangled from small ears and a pink blouse complimented the whole outfit. It would have made even Relena wince. Black hair swung down as the girl moved further into the room, wobbling slightly on high heels.

A muffled squeak came from Quatre and the girl glanced sharply over towards him. The blonde was in absolute hysterics, clutching onto Trowa he was struggling to stand up he was laughing so much. Trowa was also smiling as he supported the shorter boy. Heero on the other hand was staring in some kind of shock,  _how the hell did he manage this? _He wondered, eyes riveted to the glaring girl.

Duo however was not restricted by a manic attack of the giggles, nor of shock, so the five year old jumped down from the table and walked over to the pink figure. "Wow…" He sounded awed as he looked at 'Wufei,' "Father Christmas really _can_ do everything…you were Wufei right?"

Despite the fact that the girl would obviously have difficulty speaking through clenched teeth, she managed a quick "Yes."

"Hm…Duo studied her, "You really DO look female," He eventually said, after a long pause, "So what's your new name."

"Wu…Wufelina."

That was it for Quatre, he really could not help himself, up until then, it had just been giggles, as soon as he heard Wufei's new name, the giggles turned into loud snorts, quickly followed by loud shouts and gasps of laughter, even Trowa was now laughing. Heero was leaning weakly against the table as he gasped for air and tried to calm himself.

Wufei glared at them all before turning on his heel to stalk out, however he did not get very far, as he spun, the heel of his shoe snapped off, sending him sprawling on the floor. His skirt flew up as he fell, and due to the length, effectively covered his head.

All four boys howled with laughter at the sight.

"Wufei…nice knickers!" Trowa managed as he leant on Quatre for support.

"Y…yeah…I especially love the hearts." Heero managed.

His face scarlet, Wufei stood up and stomped out of the room, angrily muttering to himself about "trying and trying and this is the thanks I get…" His injured muttering faded into the distance as he stormed towards the other end of the house. 

Duo giggled again, before turning to Heero, "Well?" He demanded, "Are we going outside or not?"

*************

Wufei stormed down the corridor towards his room, face a brilliant shade of red as his mind went over and over the humiliation of five minutes earlier. He couldn't _believe_ even Yuy had laughed at him like that, oh the injustice. It seemed that a bit of Duo was rubbing off on everyone.

"I never thought I'd say this." He muttered to no one in particular, "But I think I preferred Maxwell as a teenager, I can't take much more of a manic five year old…" He briefly considered asking Howard for a chemical that would turn Duo into a bug, or better yet a particle. However, he wasn't sure if such chemicals existed, or, (as they were made by Howard) if they'd even work.

Coming to a halt outside his room, Wufei's eyes narrowed in suspicion, his door, which had been closed very firmly when he'd left earlier that morning to run through his 'feminine act' with Sally one more time, was now slightly ajar. Not much, but enough to indicate someone had been in there, and Wufei had the horrible sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach, that he knew who it was.

"Maxwell." He hissed to himself, "What kind of havoc has he wreaked this time?" Cautiously laying a hand on the knob, he stuck his head around the door, nothing was wrong, the room seemed fine, nothing was smashed, and everything was in order…

Placing another tentative hand on the doorknob Wufei pushed the door open a bit more. The only warning he had that something was amiss, was a small grating sound, looking up, his eyes widened in absolute horror as he watched a tin descend towards him in almost slow motion.

Black paint flew everywhere, splattering walls, the ceiling, the carpet and of course, Wufei, who had the misfortune to be standing right underneath. With a loud clang, the paint pot dropped right over his head.

The only visible part of Wufei's head, was his chin, which poked out from under the rim of the can. A few loud Chinese curses were heard as black rivulets ran down the back of his neck and dripped down his front. Other than that, there was dead silence. 

Wufei was furious, no wait, scratch that, he was _beyond_ furious, his face was covered in paint (when he eventually thought to remover the pot from his head) his clothes were covered (alright they were pink so it didn't matter, but it was the _principle_ that counted) and the worst thing of all, was the fact that his beautiful hair was coloured black, it would show terribly if he couldn't get it out! (O_0; Uh…hope you get the gag, it's a really lame one but still.)

"That is _it_." He fumed, "I'm going to Howard right _now_ to get an antidote for that pill he took." And with that dire threat, Chang Wufei stormed off down the corridor…dripping paint all over the nice new carpets Quatre had installed.

*************

Two breathless boys tumbled in the front door and into the kitchen at Quatre's yell that dinner was ready, both rosy cheeked and covered in a pure white snow. Duo was laughing his head off, and occasionally trying to tickle Heero, who kept dancing out of reach with considerable ease. Dodging the nimble fingers for a third time he turned to Quatre grinning.

"Hey, Quatre…as it's Christmas and the dinner's not until this evening, can we eat in the living room?"

"Sure." Quatre handed Duo a glass of milk before turning to Heero, "Why not?"

Wufei entered the kitchen at this point, saw the other four boys and glared sullenly for a moment. After about five minutes, he must've got bored of being ignored though, as he turned around and walked out.

"Thankyou!" Heero beamed before grabbing Duo's hand, "Come on then, to the living room!" 

Speechless at the happy smile Quatre could only blink, his mouth open slightly, as the two boys bounced out of the kitchen. As the door closed behind them, he turned to an equally shocked Trowa. "Ok, have you ever seen Heero like that before?"

Trowa shook his head in a negative response, "He's usually never happy unless he's blowing mobile dolls to bits, what's gotten into him?" He blinked, shaking his head again. "It's almost scary."

Quatre nodded in agreement before placing two plates of sandwiches on a tray and carrying them towards the living room. As he approached it however, the sound of voices indicated the TV was on, and peering around the door, the tray still balanced perfectly on one arm, he came across a sight that up until six weeks ago, would've been considered odd.

Heero was stretched out on a rug, close to the fire, dark strands of hair glittering in the flickering light, eyes closed peacefully against the heat and breathing deeply. Lying beside him, curled up next to him, one arm tucked around Heero's, Duo slept too, chestnut braid falling limply over one shoulder.

"Well I guess they won't want this then." Quatre muttered to no one in particular, "I hope Trowa will eat seconds after all the sandwiches I've made."

Smiling the blonde boy quietly closed the door and went to tell the banged one not to go into the living room unless he fancied facing Heero's gun when he woke them up.

*************

Warmth, he was so warm, nice and warm…he'd never felt this comfortable in his life. That was Heero's first reaction on waking, the second was of course to open his eyes, all the orbs came into focus on however was masses and masses of chestnut hair, waves of it, piled everywhere, most of it covering him. _Funny,_ he thought fuzzily, _I'll have to take Duo to the hairdressers, I don't remember his hair being this long for a little guy…_

Rolling over onto his side and shifting the hair slightly, he nearly jumped to his feet at the face in front of him. The once child like face had been replaced, instead of a soft peaceful five year olds face he was watching a fuller version, older, it looked like a face that had seen pain, it no longer looked innocent.

Heero swallowed hard as he shifted slightly, trying to move away and hide his secret disappointment and sadness.

Duo was Duo again, no longer a happy bouncing angel life, but an angel of death, one who had experienced as much pain as him, perhaps more, and Heero could no longer protect that innocence. 

He could not shift far however, Duo may be older, but he was still clinging to Heero like the small child he was once. One arm wrapped around his neck, and as he tried to move again, the arm tightened and Duo buried his face in the crook of Heero's neck, muttering something. 

At that moment in time, Trowa stuck his head around the door to wake the two boys up, on the order of Quatre and gave a quiet gasp as he saw Duo.

That was all it took to wake the boy up, shooting to his feet, hair flying everywhere, Duo tried to reach for a gun…that wasn't there. Sleepy eyes blinked a couple of times before he managed to wake up fully, violet eyes looked at the two boys in the room with him.

"Where am I?" Duo may have looked awake, but his voice betrayed the fact he was still waking up properly. "How'd I get down here?" he asked, questioningly glancing at Heero, "Hey! My headache's gone!" He muttered to no one in particular, before walking towards the door, "Is there anything to eat? I'm starved and you two," Here he glanced back at the gob smacked boys, "Can explain why I'm down here."

***********

"Uh…Howard?" Quatre knocked on the mechanics door a second time, "Howard there's good news!"

"What is it?" a head poked out around the door, sunglasses back and intact. "I'm very busy here Quatre, so make it quick please." Howard did indeed look slightly impatient, however it was a small blessing he wasn't holding a smoking vial of some sort.

"Duo's turned back!" Quatre announced cheerfully, smiling at the grey-haired scientist, "So you won't have to find an antidote."

"Well of course he's turned back." Howard said, as though this was common knowledge, "I turned him back didn't I?"

"_WHAT_!" Shrieked Quatre, eyes widening slightly as he glared at Howard, "When did you find the antidote and administer it to him!?" 

Howard shrugged slightly, "Turns out I had it all along, I found it five days ago, but figured if you boys wanted him turned back, you would've said, it wasn't until Wufei came along and offered to put it in his glass of milk earlier this morning that I realised at least one of you was not happy with a five year old Maxwell." Howard blinked again and stared at Quatre, "is that all you wanted young man?"   

"Yes…" Quatre started to say, but got no further, he sniffed, "Can you smell something burning?" He asked cautiously.

"Aaaah!" Howard yelped, "My mango and chutney sorbet!" And with that he slammed the door in poor Quatre's face.

Blinking the blonde haired boy wrinkled his nose, "_Mango and chutney?_" He shuddered slightly, "I wonder if Howard realises sorbet's not meant to be cooked?" He muttered to himself, "Oh well, let's hope he doesn't poison himself." [2]

***************

"Exactly _why_ won't you tell me how I came to be downstairs, without a headache and have apparently regained consciousness over six weeks later?" Duo asked, glaring across the table at a nervous Trowa and impassive Heero, "Is it a secret that terrible?" He grinned slightly, to show he didn't think it was.

Trowa shifted uncomfortably in his seat under the scrutiny of drilling violet eyes. "I've told you before Duo, if we explained, you just wouldn't believe it."

"Hmph!" Duo pouted and sunk lower in the kitchen chair, just as Quatre re-entered the room. "Hey Q-man! What's up?"

Quatre shrugged, having come up with the theory on the way back to the kitchen; that it would be better to act like nothing out of the ordinary had ever occurred over the past six weeks. "Not a lot Duo, Wufei got a bucket of black paint dumped on him today, that's about all really."

Duo grinned, "I have to meet the master mind behind that one someday, do you know who did it?"

Quatre was about to open his mouth and reply when Heero cut in. "No." He said abruptly, "We don't." Having efficiently conveyed to the others in the short sentence he allowed to escape his lips, that Duo was not to be told he had been 'chibified' he got up and stalked out of the room.

As he walked down the corridor, he heard Duo's voice echo behind him, "Man, what's eating him today, you'd think he'd lighten up a bit, it being Christmas and all…"

Heero stopped as though he had been shot, how the hell had Duo known it was Christmas? No one had told him, he himself had made sure of that, staying in the same room as the boy the whole time. It was odd…but still.

Shaking his head, Heero moved on, the perfect soldier was back, fun was a distraction and so was one Duo Maxwell. Nothing more needed to be said really.

Soon the clacking of keys could be heard from the shared room down the hallway and the quiet hum of a piece of machinery operating at full power, no one dared disturb Heero, no one that is…except Duo, who stuck his head around the door almost immediately.

"Hey Heero? What's wrong?"

The clacking of the keys never paused for a moment as Heero replied in monotone. "Nothing."

"Oh that's good because I was kinda getting worried out here man, you know, you seemed a bit upset about something…" Duo trailed off for a split second before he started up again, this time, sounding rather more anxious, "Heero? Heero what's that!?" His voice rose to a shriek on the last sentence, and Heero, caught of guard, spun around on his chair, making one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

Splat. 

That's the only word to describe it, and 'splat' is pretty much what it sounded like, even to Heero's furious mind, the 'splat' was pretty final sounding. Wiping the shaving cream out of his eyes he glared at the laughing Duo.

"Oh my god, I didn't think you'd fall for that one Hee-man, that's the oldest trick in the book." Duo stopped, unable to go on as he dissolved into more giggles at the sight of Heero, his entire face and part of his body, covered in the white foam. "Oh boy," He said at last, wiping the tears from his face, "that was funny." Bending over slightly, he clutched his side, "Ow, stitch."

"Are you alright?" Heero's question shocked him, since when did _Heero_ worry about his safety?

"Yeah, I'm fine." He waved a hand slightly.

"Good." 

Duo suddenly had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, something was not right, here, defiantly not right at all… "Why?"

"Because I'm going to kill you!" Heero lunged at Duo, vengeance written all over his shaving foam splattered face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Duo screamed, before dodging Heero and hurtling out of the room at full pelt towards the living room where the other three pilots were sitting, Wufei minus his feminine clothes and Quatre and Trowa quietly talking. 

Bursting in he vaulted over the back of the sofa and an indignant Wufei before hiding behind it, just as Heero ran headlong into the room, panting only slightly and looking around with an angry stare. "Where is he?" He growled, glaring at Quatre.

"Where's who?" Quatre asked blankly, then looked at the armchair, "Ooooh, you mean Duo, he's behind the armchair."

A muffled yelp followed this revelation and Duo darted out from behind the said piece of furniture, "Don't kill me Heero! I promise not to do it again!" He pleaded, but received no reassurance when he looked into cobalt eyes, the only emotion shown there was deadly intent. Realising he had no alternative, Duo gave up and ran from the room again, Heero following closely, for about half an hour after that, the house rang with muffled screams and curses as Duo was pursued around the safehouse.

Howard barred his door, Quatre and Trowa retreated to their room and put on earmuffs and Wufei swallowed three aspirins, begged Howard for some anaesthetic just before the scientists door closed, knocked himself unconscious and lay blissfully unaware for the next uh…five days. 

Life was back to normal again.

THE END

**D.D.:** Eheh…Sorry it's not a very funny or happy ending, but that's how I wanted it to stop.

**Duo:** Why is it so bad that I'm ME again? I'm not that evil you know, I can be pleasant.

**Wufei:** This is true, you can sometimes.

**Duo: ***glare*

**Heero:** So that's it?

**D.D.: **Yup, that is it. But you MUST read the epilogue people, no worries, there's no 1+2 unless (I say again) people want an alternate epilogue too. The epilogue makes the situation a lot happier and really rounds the story off nicely ok? So don't be depressed! Ja Ne!

[1] I'm sure we all know what I mean, spandex, green tank top, trainers etc.

[2] For those of you that don't know what sorbet is, it is a kind of mushed fruit ice thing. You mush all the fruit together and freeze it and it comes out as a sort of fruit crush.


End file.
